grr

Been home for about a week now. Funny how things change. I won't go into detail on here but I really, really, will never know where I belong. Living at home with things like curfews, errands, being told what to do and when, guilted into spending time with my mom, I feel like I've outgrown all this stuff. And then, the reasons why I'm out -iivit sittingin a basement watching TV and/or playing video games, conversations I am excluded from, real insults and arguements over music, driving around like there's nothing to do, people who won't go clubbing or danceing... no shared joy over real food but instead arguements and stress over where and what to eat. But oh, people who know exactly who I am and love me for it. Every shinning flaw, every stupid remark. Nostalgia. Home. History. Routines I was once familiar with. My car, my beautiful wonderful car. Groups of teenage boys who do stupid shit and laugh at it. My Carly. The 5 or so people who I've spent high school growing up with, who really shaped who I am. No feeling left out. No..I'm tired of all these useless comparisons. I'm tired of not knowing where I want to be, or with whom. I'm tired of not knowing what will happen to me afte rthe next three months. Need a job, a new hope, and EVERYONE to quit nagging me.